Most of us have that family member or a friend who is always borrowing money but they never pay it back. Do you know someone like that? One never knows whether these borrowers feel entitled to keep your money or they just don’t have the money to pay you back. Sometimes I feel like they took the money with the intention of not returning it. Either way, they are a fertile soil for naturing that ungiving version of ourselves. They make us swear that no matter what, we will never lend money to a friend or family member who is in need. Not only do they take our money, they take our kindness with them.

If you were to enquire around, you may find that you are not their only victim. You may even decide that it is better to cancel the debt because you heart is so attached to the debt that is never going to be cleared and the attachment is adding extra kilo joules of unwanted energy. More often by the time they clear the debt, the once blossoming relationship is down the drain with no chance of being retrieved.  

The problem with such borrowers, is that not even a written contract can save you. They are not denying the debt, they are just not clearing the debt. 

The question is what do we do with such people?

Go the legal route.

Depending on the amount of money that they borrowed, you can go the legal route and hope the court will give an enforceable judgement in your favour. I use the word “enforceable” because chances are that, by the time you take them to court, they already have a handful of judgements against them and your turn for payment will be in years to come. Maybe they no longer have income to fulfil the judgement. The legal route can also take a tall on your financials, time and emotions. 

Write off the debt.

After having looked at options available, you may decide that writing off the debt will give you peace of mind. Chances are this decision is normally taken together with the decision to write off the relationship.

Give them an opportunity to pay you back in kind.

This option is what got me to write this article in the first place. How often do we sit and think of getting back our money in kind, especially from people who are no longer in a position to pay back the money? This got me thinking that damn! We have so many friends and families who are skilled in many areas of life and what if we could exchange those skills for debts owed to us. What if we sat with the debtors and negotiated a good service delivery agreement based on the skills that they already have?

I realised that the options were too many to count. If a family member or a friend cannot pay back the debt, you can sit down with them, and negotiate a skill that is equivalent to the money owed. At this point, you have the leveraging power to put a price on their skill to pay in exchange for their debt. There is room for negotiations, even if relationships are in danger of being endangered by unpaid debt.

Here is a list of some of the many services that the culprits can offer to pay back your hard earned  money.

The culprit is a good cook

If the culprit is good at cooking and you cannot cook to save your life or you just want to experience what the Jones next door are experiencing, with their master chefs, secure a day or days where the culprit will be your personal chef. You can also book the culprit to cook for you when you are hosting guests while you enjoy entertaining your guests. If the culprit is a good baker, get the culprit to bless you with some baked goodies. Obviously you will have to buy the ingredients, but you will have secured skills, time, relaxation which will be equal to the amount borrowed. 

The culprit excels in certain subjects to make a good tutor 

Ask her to come tutor your kids. They can also come help with homework, while you are busy with other things or while you just sitting and drinking wine. Who knows, you may end up concluding a tutorship agreement that works for both of you. We must ask what our friends and families are good at.

The culprit is good at cleaning

I can think of a couple of friends and families who are very lazy. They are so lazy that they can keep a company of dirty dishes the entire week without shame. Get the culprit to clean your house or do house chores while you maintain your lazy status. Once again, the cleaner may realise that they have something good to offer and elevate that to new channels of making money. When asking what skills your friend or family are good at, select what they have passion for because they are highly likely to jump for the offer to do what they like and good at.

The culprit is good with kids- babysitting

There are family members and friends who love kids and are also good with kids. May they pay you back the money with their love for baby sitting. 

The culprit is good at selling items

Some family members can sell you a stone. Do you have items that you wish to get rid of without taking them to charity? Many of us can use some cash for items that we have never used, that are still in a very good condition. If your friends or family is not able to pay you back your money, hire them to sell your products to cover the unpaid debt. Who knows, this may inspire them to start a business that involves them selling items for friends and families for a nice commission. 

Other skills

I can think of many skills that can be exchanged for money owed. They can review and draft contracts for you if they are lawyers, decorate your party, paint your house, transport the kids to Saturday games to give you time to do run errands. The list is endless. Can you think of other skills?

How to manage the risk of non-payment ahead of time with payment in skills?

Proposal from the lender

It also got me thinking that, we can use the same method of payment in skills to take care of future non payment before we lend anyone our money. We can conclude a contract with a condition that states that “ if the borrower fails to pay money for reasons beyond his or her control, the borrower agrees to render their skills to pay the debt”. You should know what skills they are good at the time of entering the agreement and include that in the agreement. 

Alternatively, you can suggest right away that they pay you back with their skills before you lend them the money. In this regard, the deal is converted from debt agreement to a service delivery agreement.

Proposal from the borrower

Those of us who want to borrow money but know that we won’t have the money to pay sooner, because we don’t have income, we can negotiate with a lender and offer our skills in exchange for the money. It got me thinking that, some of us can use this method to start a business by testing the need for our skills through our families and friends. It can motivate you to do something now, as opposed to sitting and whining for lack of income.

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